4.9.15 after 4.20pm

My mind has been wondering all around today but it always comes back to being very happy that I'm now living totally independently! It's the little things that remind me of how different it was to even live in Scituate! Don't get me wrong, Scituate was better than most hospitals I lived at until my mother passed :(! See although my mother didn't understand how it was to have to live with tbi she tried as best she could to understand why I reacted the way I did in certain circumstances! When she passed I felt so alone living there! When I used to get shxt about something, anything she used to defend me or put the other person in their place! After she passed I went through the worst time of my life and I'm not just talking about my new life! Most of the time there I felt I had no freedom to mold my new life the way I wanted to! Too many restrictions, made to feel like a little kid, not responsible, need supervision, not trustworthy, unable to do most things myself! This all came to my mind this afternoon while I made a pot of coffee because I wasn't even permitted to do that living there cause of others who thought I couldn't be trusted to not break things or clean up after myself! I told my case manager at the time JB that I had progressed as far as I could living there! He didn't see it, it wasn't till I got DM as my case manager that things got better! I can remember when I believe he realized that it's not a good situation for me there! It was when I was battling prostate cancer and one of the side affects was I'd loose control of my bowels! This is embarrassing but one day he was making a home visit and just before it happened, I soiled my pants! I quickly cleaned up not only myself but the house and bathroom! I was always accused of not doing well on clean up so I asked DM to check to see if I missed anything cause of my scanning abilities not being good cause of my tbi! He said he didn't notice anything I said, are you sure cause I'm accused of being lazy and that's why this happens! He smirked and said of coerce its not being lazy! Well someone came home and I told about my mishap and said I cleaned up and had DM check it well wouldn't you know fault was found and I told of having DM check my clean up, I said that's what it's like living with him! No later than one month later did I finally get freed! I got in to my own place with no senseless restrictions and no one to berate or belittle me, I'm free!  I don't live in fear anymore of not doing things the way someone else likes it done and I can now cook and make a pot of coffee whenever I want, I'm FREE :)!